I want to pull back the curtain and smile as I see the sun break through.
Seeing through the cracks that seem to paralyze me at night.
And just tonight I want to blame everything on no one and just feel free for even a moment.
I want to forgive those who have caused pain
and I want to give gratitude to those who have helped me grow.
Name by name I would go down the list in thanks and praise.
It is so easy to get lost, to be shut down, to be afraid.
Stand, hold your head up, smile with your eyes if you just cant force your teeth to show.
Put the blade down, put the lighter down, stop the rubber band from hitting your skin.
Look at yourself in a mirror, tell yourself you're beautiful, because you are.
It is hard to believe that you're loved and worth it, to just be alive, but you are.
There is no need to feel guilty for the scars or the tears shed at night.
There is no need to feel shame for having the disease that is depression.
There is no need to hide from the life of someone with bipolar disorder.
There is no need to hide the food you push around from anorexia yelling in your ear.
There is no need to disappear into the bathroom while bulimia ruins your day.
There is no need to disappear into yourself, hiding your feelings.
There is simply no need.
Be still, hear the sounds of the loved ones trying to save you.
Hold on to the the life savor people are throwing at you.
Hold on to the moments where you feel happy, if only for a second.
And learn to just take small, simple steps.
Baby steps my dear, baby steps.
XOXO,
Katelyn
"Destroy what destroys you."
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