A lot of the time I can not explain why I am sad and when I was younger I would make up lies to make people think I had a reason to be sad when in all reality it was just how my brain was wired. Now at 18 I still feel that way sometimes. I can be depressed for no reason and it is one of the most frustrating things I struggle with. I can become angry with myself and say "just be happy." That thinking is not realistic, because unfortunately a lot of the time I am sad for just no reason other than I'm sad. What is most important that I have gotten from all of this is, that is just going to have to be enough. Being sad cause I'm just sad. And thats ok. I have two women in my life who taught me many of thing, but one thing they both taught me is how important communication is when you are just have a sad day. Once you find someone who you can confide in and trust and then you can express how you're feeling, a little bit of that pain in your chest will fade. Sometimes I will text a good friend of mine at 3am knowing she will not text back, but I know she will read it in the morning, but I was able to get those feelings out. Another thing is writing your feelings on a piece of paper and ripping it up. I have used this coping tool so much! I have used it today! There are so many options, other than sitting in your bed, listening to sad music, and crying. Now this is not to say I don't do that from time to time, because I do. Sometimes I need that time to just cry and get things out, but you cant be down and out forever. You need to get up and go do something.
Life is gonna kick you around sometimes. You need to build up a defense and make sure you are keeping yourself safe.
Never give up, Stay Strong, and keep taking those baby steps.
Katelyn
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