You Don't Have to Go

I would be lying if I said I never triggered myself so I would cut. I knew I wanted to do it so bad, but I wasn't numb enough. I would listen to that one song or watch that one clip from that movie, or just look at those pictures on that website and it was because of those that I could trick myself into becoming numb enough so the cuts wouldn't hurt. This cycle was killing me. I had people telling me to stop listening, reading, watching, but I had no interest I knew I needed to cut but I couldn't do it with out those things. And If you self harm and you unfortunately know what I am talking about, stop doing it. Its not worth that new scar or the lose of that next pound. You could be that next day closer to being self harm be if you wouldn't trigger yourself. I know that its hard when you can feel the next episode building inside and you just want to get out your pain somehow. And I know it feels like the only way to get your hurt out, but its not. Tumblr is  not gonna keep you clean. The only person who can save you, is you and I know you probably hate when people tell you that, I know I used to. That saying used to make me so mad and so upset, it would actually make me want to self harm even more, but I am telling you thats true. No one could learn the coping skills for me, no one could talk in therapy for me, and no one could put down the razor except for me. So yes its hard. Yes it hurts and yes a lot of the time you don't think you are going to make it through the day, but you can and you will. I did it. I am doing it. You don't have to be stuck. You don't have to cry every day. You don't have to be locked inside you mind. You can live instead of just surviving. You can breathe without your chest feeling like its going to cave. You don't have to dread being in your room at night. You don't have to keep self harming. You don't need to leave this world. All you need to do is stay here, with us, with the people that love and care about you. And if you don't think people care, well I care. I will always care.

Just keep taking those baby steps my dear,

xoxo

Katelyn.


Try by Colbie Caillat

Put your make up on
Get your nails done
Curl your hair
Run the extra mile
Keep it slim so they like you, do they like you?

Get your sexy on
Don't be shy, girl
Take it off
This is what you want, to belong, so they like you
Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
Yooou don't have to try

Get your shopping on, at the mall, max your credit card
You don't have to choose, buy it all, so they like you
Do they like you?

Wait a second,
Why, should you care, what they think of you
When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you?
Do you like you?

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to, give it all away
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try so hard
You don't have to bend until you break
You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up
You don't have to change a single thing

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try

You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try, try, try, try
You don't have to try
Yooou don't have to try