One thing I struggled with a lot is speaking up about how I feel. I always wanted people to think I was happy and perfect and everything was fine. I would walk in my room and fall apart. on my knees crying, begging to a God who I wasn't even sure if he was listening, to just let me die. I would eventually cut, cry myself to sleep and do it all over again. How bad I wanted to my parents to walk in while I was cutting or while I was crying and hold me and tell me I was ok, but they never walked in. They would see the after math of what I had done to myself. They would ask why I didn't tell them. Why I didn't share with them my pain. I wanted to fix myself. I wanted to do everything by myself.
Now while I am away at college I am trying to figure out this whole life thing and many times while trying to figure myself out it has left me in tears. Being on my own has forced me to learn coping skills. Its been a sink or swim time and I may only be doggy paddling but I'm ok and ok is better than sad. And ok is somewhere I am perfectly content with.
If you having trouble, if you are struggling, if you have fallen and can't get up, call someone. Tell someone if you are sad don't let it get to the part where you confide in a blade. If you don't wanna talk about your problems thats ok, just talk to talk. Get you mind off the negative and try to focus on the positive.
You can do this,
You can make it one more night,
You can make it through.
Baby steps my dear,
Katelyn.
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